We’ve all done it before. Worn something, taken pictures, only to realize that we look like floral wallpaper threw up on our clothes. It’s too late to change now, you’re in public and everyone has already seen your floral vomit clothing. Or your eyeliner is uneven. Or you’re rocking a camel toe in with your leggings.
Mistakes happen. Here are some I’ve seen that shouldn’t be happening anymore. Most of what’s listed below is makeup (and hair) related because I believe fashion isn’t as clearly defined. That being said:
I’m perfectly OK with hair coloring (more on that later), but I will never get this trend. It’s slowing dying out but it still exists, especially among Asian communities (thanks Bollywood). When you wear colored contacts, your eyes look dead and don’t sparkle. It’s really creepy when you look into a colored contact wearer’s eyes and you see the pixels that make up their “eye color” (shudder). Just stop, and let whatever shade you were born with shine through.
(Overly) Brassy Hair.
I’m not talking about hints of red intentionally in your hair color, I’m talking over-processed, faded color, bad color brass. Many people think that neon shade of bright orange is flattering in their hair. I usually see this when people have dark hair try to go lighter at home, your dark hair already has red, red-orange tones in it, you don’t need to add more. It looks very over processed. Honey, if you’re standing in sunlight and I can’t look at you because your hair is as bright as an orange traffic cone, you need to tone it down. Toning it down with some ash tones will cancel out some brass, give you a richness and depth that your hair is lacking currently. That being said there is a difference in having red tones, warm tones. If you have dark hair and want to color it, GO TO A SALON (seriously, I can not state this enough).
No. Just stop. Please. Like brassy hair, it can be done right. Done wrong it’s a nightmare. The color is supposed to melt into your hair, Otherwise it’s just not flattering. At all. Try the “sombré” trend or balayage, so much more chic.
Eaten Alive By Patterns.
As a petite woman, this happens to me more often than I’d like to admit it. Avoiding it just comes with being more aware of the scale of the print and the proportions of your body (re: how a pattern looks on your figure). Here’s where my floral vomit analogy comes in. I love this pattern that Brie Larson is wearing, but only in small doses. Cute as a crop top, or skirt? Sure. But as a floor length gown, she might as well be wearing a tablecloth. Who can forget the Kim K couch debacle? If it can be mistaken for upholstery or linens, it’s not flattering on you. It’s not just florals; stripes, abstract, and geometric prints can all be culprits.
Orange Ring of Death
Every gamer knows what the red ring of death means (oops, my nerd is showing), so I present to you the “orange ring of death”. It happens as a result of 2 accidents: 1) The wrong shade of foundation is chosen and 2) it’s not blended down past the lower jaw. I have friends that do this and I weep silently when I see them (and gently try to correct them). OROD doesn’t discriminate, it can happen when the foundation shade is too dark or too light for the individual’s skin tone. The solutions are easy, get foundation samples (or wear it outside after applying) to test it before you buy a shade, and blend well with a brush or sponge down the neck. I repeat, blend your foundation into your face. You shouldn’t look like you’re wearing a mask…